I've been fucking around while you've been saving the world

Hey dudes! It is I, your favourite trashcan of the internet. I can't believe so much time has passed since my last post. I have been consumed with exam stress, procrastination of the most intense kind and generally trying to keep my head above water.

So much has happened, and I feel a little mad at myself for not updating it all here. I'm so jealous of you guys who post continually with the things going on in your lives! Well done! Instead I seem to just let it all build up and then try and condense it into one massive, dense post. Oops. 

As I have admittedly said before, I think (for real this time k) that from now on I'll be able to post more. My final exam is tomorrow; advanced higher English (what was that about procrastination?) and after that I have two weeks left of 'study leave' where the only thing I'm going to be studying is how to sleep for as long as possible. I'm planning to get a few more rolls of film developed as well as shooting a film I'm starting to write with a friend of mine so hopefully it should actually be moderately productive.

After my study leave is over, that's nearly it for me, secondary education-wise. We come back for the sixth year fortnight, which entails the leavers ball, a trip to alton towers and several lectures on how to survive in the outside world, but after that - freedom. I can't quite comprehend it really - school has consumed such a massive chunk of my life that it unnerves me slightly that soon I will be done with it. I feel a bit lost really; I have enjoyed the structure that school has brought but also have wanted to be done with all the deadlines and pressure for so long now. 

Next year, as I'm quite young and not really sure of where I want to commit to yet, I've decided to take a year out, and I'm tentatively looking forward to it. I can't wait to have the freedom and time to try and be more creative and actually indulge myself in things like film and photography, but I'm also petrified of ending up twiddling my thumbs for twelve months whilst my parents constantly berate me for not knowing what to do with myself. I would've loved to move away and do an apprenticeship with a production company but due to my awkward birthday I'm too young for anywhere to consider me, so I'll just have to make do with what I've got. What are you guys doing next year? I always find it interesting listening to other people's plans as they vary so wildly, and they all sound so interesting.

It feels so good to write again - despite my looming exam tomorrow, I'd forgotten what personal writing was like! I need to start journalling in earnest next year I think - how cool would it be to have a tangible document written when you were in your most hormone-addled, formative periods in your life when everything's panned out? 

To all of you experiencing exam stress, I've got some sweet songs I've discovered over the past few weeks. They're so chill and great for listening to just to relax but also to low-key jam out to. I've also been taking a lot more photos on my iphone camera, as more often than not I've been coming home when the sun is beginning to set. I love this time of year as all the blossoms are out on the trees and here in Edinburgh, the sky has been clearing while the wind gradually becomes warmer. 

I've taken too many bus photos recently, but the light has been so gorgeous. I think I'll make a post with all of my recent ones soon, but looking back sometimes I worry they're a bit odd - me lurking on the back seat taking pictures of the backs of people's heads. But I think love them all the same.

Listen to this last one before you go into your exam, just to pump yourself up a bit. My friend, after being left alone to not leave her house for two weeks while she was meant to be revising, has become obsessed with kpop, specifically the group EXO. Unfortunately, she has turned me too. The choreography is so good and they're all so cute and the music is so catchy.... I am a twelve year old girl again.

Hope you guys are surviving the exam period! Summer will be here soon.

Nice to talk again, 

Kit x

tooOOoo many feelings

Hello sweeties, how is life treating you? It's currently half past midnight and a school night for me. Things are wobbly. 

It's odd. I feel like summer is brushing against my fingertips, tantalizingly close and yet still out of reach. I cannot wait for the complete absence of any responsibility whatsoever and hopefully not-awful weather. My last exam is this Friday. I hope it goes well but also I do not care at all about anything so can't wait to be done with it all. I don't get it, myself - there are too many hormones and thoughts and feelings and aches and voices whizzing around my body that I feel entirely unprepared to take exams that will define my life and make choices that are going to be my future. 

Unlike many young people and like many others, I don't really.. thrive on any of my subjects at school. There's nothing I excel at, nothing I'm known for that can be quantified or summarized with a grade on a sheet of paper. I feel intelligent, but my results don't reflect how I feel. Am I dumb, or not good at taking exams? Am I bad at most academic things, or do I set my standard unrealistically high? Am I mentally stable enough to deal with the chemicals flooding my body whilst planning my life path or will I burn out? idk.

Aside from all that Teen Angst, I made a wee playlist thing with some songs I've been obsessed with. Excuse the duvet cover that is literally older than me.

I also thought I'd document my Wreck It Journal on here that I got in London. I only started it recently but these are a couple of my favourite pages. 

This was so insanely relaxing to do. Just put on some really loud music and find a nice pen and circle stuff till your heart's content.

I also did the 'draw with glue' page. I know it's all blurry but the glitter was so pretty and looked a lot less interesting when it was completely focused. Look how calming it all looks!

Also I got these adorable shoes I gotta show you guys. They were only six quid and every time I internet window-shop I see places selling them for so much more and feel so smug.

I'm pretty sure I had a pink pair with flowers on them when I was about four but whatever, I love em.

I will always be in love with this song by Lorde, and I don't get why there isn't enough hype about it. It's not available on itunes and there are no official music videos for it. I love this one though - it's stuff like this that really hypes me up about film making and lighting and mise en scene and all that jazz.

Speaking of film making, I finally put the dumb short film we made on youtube. It's been on vimeo for a while but I think it's safe to say most people use youtube a lot more. I'm mad because I can't choose the thumbnail for some reason but I'll sort it out later. Enjoy!

it's being weird and not letting me show it as a video but here's a link mwa

Ok so before I fall asleep on my laptop, I'll see y'all later. I'm thinking 1am blogging is productive blogging. PEACE OUT

Kit x

I SHOULD BE REVISING but here we are

Hello dolls, how are you? I am in the midst of an exam tornado. One down, three to go. I'm taking a break to do this, which I've been avoiding for quite some time, so sorry if it's a bit long. 

In the Easter break we went to London for a few days, which was awesome as the weather was so nice. I took my books with me but didn't get much done - too tired! I think one of my favorite parts was when we went to St Paul's cathedral. It was odd because we've been to London quite often but never done much of the whole sightseeing thing. Anyway, it was gorgeous. Like, I was overwhelmed by the sheer size and beauty of it. COMPLETE ARCHITECTURE PORN LOOK. 

We somehow managed to skip the massive line by going in through the 'easy access' entrance (who knew?) so my mum and I climbed up thousands of stairs and eventually came out in the largest part of the church. It was amazing. It was just so vast and detailed you just had to take a minute to absorb everything. Here are some (illegal) shots I got - you're not allowed to take picture of this but because they want you to spend money on buying their postcards but we did it anyway. Oops.

Just at the top of the dome there's this second, much smaller one. You can see into it a little from the balcony we were standing on, but you can't actually get to it. However, when we ascended to stand on this balcony at the highest point of the cathedral, there was this weeny porthole - it looked down through both domes to the floor below. It was pretty cool, but the funniest bit was watching an Italian mother grip her little boy tightly so that she could lean over and get a good look.

It was nice at the top, albeit very windy and a bit grey. 

We also went to the Museum of Natural History, like we do every year. There was an exhibit about volcanoes and tectonic plates which was really interesting - most of all because it largely focused on the earthquake that happened in early 2011 in Japan. I was there with my mum because she was working with robots for her photography piece she was doing and we actually narrowly missed it by about two weeks. Scary Stuff.

We also went to Martin Creed's exhibition, 'What's the point of it?'. I quite enjoyed it because it bordered between pretentious and hilarious. Some of my favorite pieces included and piece of blutack stuck to the wall and a crumpled up ball of paper.

The best part was definitely the balloon room. It was exactly half full with massive white balloons, and the static was awesome. It was a lot of fun.

My little sister not looking too impressed. We had a great time, honest. 

We also stopped by Cybercandy - the mecca of all sweetshops. I got these Hello Panda biscuit things that I am in love with. They're so cute! They have pandas on them! Playing sports!

look how high def this is omg I can nearly taste them

Also had to buy some knock-off Breaking Bad sweets because how could you not.

Grabbed these on our way to the till as I'd heard about them before. I think they're American as I've never seen them anywhere else in Britain but holy smokes they are so good.

Finally we popped into UniQlo because why not and I got this cute oversized shirt with this wee logo. Happy Kitty.

So that was my dumb overview of London! It happened like two weeks ago so I feel bad but whatever. I'm on study leave now and when my exams finish I'll have another two weeks free while everyone else finishes up, so I'm looking forward to that. Hope you guys had a nice Easter and aren't too stressed about exams!

This is such a nice song, I love it. It's not on youtube but you guys have to listen to Sohn's new single Tremors, it's so good - like crazy good.

- Kit xxx

ALSO SORRY IF I ONLY REPLIED TO YOUR COMMENT NOW I DIDN'T SEE THEM AND I FEEL BAD ILY